New Year. New Me. New Things.

New Year. New Me. New Things.
Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash

2019 was a year of learning new things. I guess it’s safe to say that every year will bring with it lessons, but this last year in particular felt like it really emphasized the importance of life and living.

While life grew for the first time inside of my belly after many years of trying to start our family, we were preparing for the life of a sweet family member to come to an end. Brody’s Aunt Faith, Jesse’s oldest sister and my high school friend lost her battle to breast cancer just over a month before her 39th birthday. As incredibly excited as she was about our little miracle, she was never given the opportunity to meet her new nephew. Daily I find myself in moments thinking of how much she would have loved our precious boy and missing her immensely. If losing someone dear to you and so early doesn’t put life into perspective, I don’t know what else will. Sadly, Faith’s passing wasn’t the only loss we walked through.

They say that pets become little furry family members. Whoever “they” might be, it is 110% true with our three fur-babies. Lola (female cat) was rescued and hand raised about 2 months after we were married in 2005. We adopted Harrison (male dog) a year later. Bentley (male cat) joined us about 6 months after that. Eleven years of unexplained infertility and generalized anxiety and panic disorder made me pretty dependent upon the emotional companionship each one of them provided. Bentley died unexpectedly a few weeks after the birth of our son and Harrison had to be put down just a month or so later. Both sweet boys took their last breath as we loved and kissed on them.

When you intentionally look for it, life holds so much beauty. Overnight (literally) our lives changed, grew and became so much more worth living. Twelve whole days overdue, 40 plus weeks of carrying him and feeling him grow and after what seemed like a lifetime of waiting for him to become a reality, Brody LeRoy Ball was born. In what would be the scariest experience I’ve ever walked through, the most amazing blessing was birthed. Beauty for ashes.

So here I walk confidently into 2020, a bit wiser and with a fresh perspective. Devices will be silenced during family time – quality over quantity. More reading will take place (and the TV will be turned off) – both for my own knowledge and with/to my son. Better care will be given to this body of mine – I’m 40 now and wow, do I feel it! And this new adventure in my hands – or should I say, at my fingertips? Whoever decides to join me on this journey, welcome and thank you for visiting this world of mine!